HAWKING

Melodic Progressive Music from Vancouver, Canada.

The official website and merch store of Progressive Rock/Metal band HAWKING from Vancouver, Canada.

LYRICS

A TRAGEDY (THIS MELODY) (2022)

A wasteland
I'm sorry, for I'm meant to tend to this land
But irresponsibly I've fettered and neglected
The seeds that we've sown,
All the roots that we've grown in the quicksand

And now we're losing hold of all we know
I swear to god the sun outside will turn to stone
The song we sing suffers a silent sleep
These notes ring unrecognizably

This melody is inaudible to me
Why don't you try another frequency
No, I can't be what you're wanting me to be
Our expectations differ violently

Are we damned
To an unmusical existence, or have we planned
A way to reconfigure our systems so they're sapient
To the patterns and the pulses of our environment

This melody is inaudible to me
Why don't you try another frequency
A tragedy the likes of which I've never seen
This is not how we're supposed to be

This melody is inaudible to me
Why don't you try another...

A tragedy the likes of which I've never seen
This is not how we're supposed to be
Anxiety about just who we're meant to be
Our expectations differ violently

 

ELUCIDATE, ARTICULATE (2020)

I can’t speak
Another word with this accursed tongue
That’s not where thought comes from
And I feel weak
Committing to this symbolism
So transitional

I’m so confused
But I’ve never found the words to…

Here I am, falling forward
Silent hands reaching outward
Understand expression in the shape of life expanding

Flourished phylogeny
Stifled by metonymy
What a retrogressive procession that impedes our ontogeny
Obscured from our imagery
This world’s interstices
Taxonomically

I’m so confused…

Here I am, falling forward
Silent hands reaching out for you
Understand expression in the...

Elucidate, articulate
Elucidate, articulate
Destroy all that equivocates
The message that must penetrate
Elucidate, articulate
Feel the system resonate
Elucidate, articulate

 

Never Bow (2020)

Don’t look back
Doubt bears a dreadful path
Will you sink or stand
And triumph by your own hand
Now I can hardly see
Through the field of my enemies
No longer content to be
Gripped by pathology
The story is in your step
Fight till you’ve nothing left
Don’t give up your suffering yet

This life’s more than condemnation
This is your initiation

I won’t surrender
Rise with me now

Days pass
Long last
Now it’s clear to me
After careful inquiry
We are the thing that is and the thing that will come to be
Still I can hear your steps
Echo out in my head
No, don’t quit your suffering yet

This life’s more than pure subjection
Let this be our insurrection

I won’t surrender
Rise with me now
For the blood of those before us who raised their voices and stood their ground
I will never bow

You descend from a legacy greater than
This fragmented facade
Defending conviction from deep within
Our own heart
Shed the mandalic imagery
Instilled into you neolithically
For all kind

I won’t surrender
Rise with me now
For the blood of those before us
Who braved the darkness
And brought the beast to the ground
Rise with me now
I will never bow

 

DIVERGE LP (2017)

01. CATALYST

You know that we are never fully cured
But if we want we can pretend
We grow together when we feel unsure
Of everything we're looking for

I know that we are young
But I'm so terrified of everyone
You make me feel like I'll never come undone

Catalyst, a haunting kiss will carry me through everything
(Carry me through every)
Catalyst, I need your lips to carry me through everything
(Carry me through)

You know my broken mind cannot endure
The thought of ever losing you
Every time we touch I need you more
But am I really who you're looking for?

I know that we are young
But I'm so terrified of every single one
Who lives in this quiet town with me

Catalyst, a haunting kiss will carry me through everything
(Carry me through every)
Catalyst, I need your lips to carry me through everything
(Carry me through)

Every time we touch I need you more

Catalyst, a haunting kiss will carry me through everything
(Carry me through every)
Catalyst, I need your lips to carry me through everything
(Carry me through)

02. BROKEN GLASS

You'll see it's hard to let things go when they're not gone
And break out from inside these walls that keep us down

I still feel the broken glass
It takes me with you
My heart never stood a chance
Against you

I'm sick and tired that we pretend there's nothing wrong
You act like you're not at fault
So it's obvious you've got no heart at all
I need you now

If it's the last thing that I do
I swear to god we'll make it through

I still feel the broken glass
It takes me with you
My heart never stood a chance
Against you

If it's the last thing that I'll do
I swear I'll make it up to you

I still feel the broken glass
It takes me with you
My heart never stood a chance
Against you

03. HOMESICK

I'm homesick, I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm homesick, coming back to start again

Standing still so brave
You pull down the cuffs of your long sleeves
(Things that you told me)
About the pain in your muscles from beating your fists black and purple
(Cracks in the drywall)

I can't recall the day I left
I think I blocked it from my mind
It hurts to think of what I said
And who I left behind

I'm homesick, I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm homesick, I'm coming back to start again
I'm homesick, I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm homesick, I'm coming back to start again

I hope as I wait at the bus stop
That your house is still on the same block
I sweat and my knees start to buckle
I feel your front door on my knuckles
Then your mother choked back tears and told me where you were
It's a better place, you're doing fine without me I am sure

I'm homesick, I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm homesick, I'm coming back to start again
I'm homesick, I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm homesick, I'm coming back to start again

[Instrumental Break]

I'm homesick, I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm homesick, I'm coming back to start again
I'm homesick, I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm homesick, I'm coming back...

04. LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH

You said we'd still be friends
So it's awkward to admit I'm on the brink again
You pulled me out of the water
I felt good then
But now I'm back in the deep end

This is insanity, I need somebody
To tell me everything will be okay
You meant the world to me
You said you loved me
But you were lying through your teeth

I said I'd be your friend
Going forward, but now I'm falling back again
I won't be here for much longer
I'm a good man, but I feel good for nothing

We fit together like a broken promise
Your edges cut me but at least they're honest
I hope I never have to hurt like this again
I hate what I'm becoming

This is insanity, I need somebody
To tell me everything will be okay
You meant the world to me
You said you loved me
But you were lying through your teeth

I need you to come back home
I'm nothing without you
I need you to come back home
I'm nothing...

This is insanity, I need somebody
To tell me everything will be okay
You meant the world to me
You said you loved me, but you were lying
Lying, lying, yeah
This is insanity, I'm not worthy
That's what you want me to believe
It's clear as day to me
You said you loved me
But you were lying through your teeth

05. STEPPING STONE

A nighttime raining hard
Leads me back to the start
The windshield wipers make the future look brighter from where we are
We've set out on our own
To find where our souls belong
We'll paint our pictures with tears and whispers of years to come

So lean your seat back
And put your hand in mine
We'll say I love you one last time

I feel safe when I'm in your arms
But darling changes are going to come
I know forever's much too long

A year ago I said
I promise I won't forget
The way your lips make my heart play tricks when you're in my head
It feels ironic you know
You wanted to take it slow
Now you're so above me, I bet that you call me your stepping stone

Without me you'd still be at home
I'm not your stepping stone
Without me you'd be all alone
I'm not your stepping stone

I feel safe when I'm in your arms
But darling changes are going to come
I know forever's much too long
Just your touch makes me feel at home
But darling I'm not your stepping stone
You hurt me like I've never known

We leaned our seats back
You put your hand in mine
We said I love you one last time
I'm jealous of you
But proud at the same time
We've dreamt of this for our whole lives

I feel safe when I'm in your arms
But darling changes are going to come
I know forever's much too long
And I just wish I could overcome
This feeling that I'm not good enough
That I'm not good enough

06. COMFORTABLE

You're a safe space from the ice age
That always tortures me
Love you deeply 'cause you keep me
Alive and functioning

Screaming curse words from an iceberg
This world is frightening
But you're the one that feels warm to me

I don't know my way back home
I'm so comfortable around you

Love you gently, miss the memory
Of waking up with you
Now I'm stuck here on the frontier
Of insanity

The Arctic circle is an unforgiving place
If this were real I'd feel okay

I don't know my way back home
I'm so comfortable around you

I don't know my way back home
I'm so comfortable around you
Left for dead in my own head
The only thing that's real
Is the loneliness I feel

07. DISCLOSURE

[Instrumental]

08. NORTH OF THE BLACK SEA

Intro: [Inaudible Ukrainian Language]

Faces turned skin and bone
Love songs I carved in stone
Your intentions mean nothing now
You left me here

Wheat fields burned black to ash
Love songs of wasted flesh
Don't remind me of what happened here before
You left me here

You left me here, you left me here
You left me here, you left me...
You left me here, you left me here
You built this wall, you built this...

09. HAUNTED HOUSE

I want to spend my life
With you and stay inside
Beneath these sheets so when we sleep we're safe from creatures creeping up behind
But what's in here is worse
Cause every moment hurts
When I know I hold you back, you could do better if you tried

We live inside a haunted house
There's no way we're ever getting out
I'm just a boy, I'm just a...
I'm just a boy inside
We're stuck inside this haunted dream
I need you to take care of me
I'm just a boy, I'm just a...
I'm just a boy inside

And you could do better if you tried

I want to take my life
And bleed it far and wide
Across these sheets so when you sleep you never could forget me if you tried
Because our skin's a curse
When I want you so bad that it hurts
But I can't get close enough to you

We live inside a haunted house
There's no way we're ever getting out
I'm just a boy, I'm just a...
I'm just a boy inside
I'm in over my fucking head
I'll treat you better when I'm dead
I'm just a boy, I'm just a...
I'm just a boy inside

And you could do better if you tried

We live inside a haunted house
There's no way we're ever getting out
I'm just a boy, I'm just a...
I'm just a boy inside
We're stuck inside this haunted dream
I need you to take care of me
I'm just a boy, I'm just a...
I'm just a boy inside
I'm in over my fucking head
I'll treat you better when I'm dead
I'm just a boy, I'm just a...
I'm just a boy inside

10. OUTSIDE

I didn't want to bother you so I went outside
I did it on my own and I didn't even cry
I tried and tried to scream for help
When I saw what I'd done
When I saw what I'd done to him

I didn't know what these hands could do
I wish I never had to

Cause I don't think you care at all
I don't think you care at all

I was just a stupid boy when I went outside
I wanted to feel your pride shine down on me
I thought that's what you wanted me to do
I thought you wanted him gone
I thought you wanted him gone for good

I didn't know what these hands could do
I'll cut them off if it bothers you
But I hope I never have to

Cause I don't think you care at all
I don't think you care at all
No, I don't think you care at all
I don't think you care...

I'm still outside

Cause I don't think you care at all
I don't think you care at all
No, I don't think you care at all
I don't think you care...

11. LEAVE YOU BEHIND

Inside of these walls I've built a good life
They said to get out but they're wasting their time
We won't make it through if we stay here
But we've got everything that we hold dear
My grandmother told me to always keep smiling
To practice for the day when my sister stopped crying
I've seen it time and time again
You're a fool to think you're safe from them

But I'm not afraid of their airborne disaster
If it doesn't kill me it can call me its master
I've lived through hell for my own kind
There's no way, there's no way
There's no way I could leave you behind

They can put up their fences and call us inhuman
Force us to abandon our lives as we knew them
But they can't take us anywhere
We've got everything we love right here
I saw how my father took care of my sister
Mathilda's been gone for 2 years and I miss her
But now I have to miss him too
I swear to god I'll live to honor you

I'm not afraid of their airborne disaster
We've got all we need between the nails and the plaster
I've lived through hell for my own kind
There's no way, there's no way
There's no way I could leave you behind

And I pray for the good lord to fix this
And put me to sleep
Go to sleep and make the silence, my mistress
Cause it won't ever leave my mind
Silent screams and the look in your eyes
Smell of snow while your hand clung to mine
Your last breath when they took you away and I left you behind

But I'm not afraid of their airborne disaster
If it doesn't kill me it can call me its master
I've lived through hell for my own kind
There's no way, there's no way
There's no way I could leave you...
And I'm not afraid of their airborne disaster
We've got all we need between the nails and the plaster
I've lived through hell for my own kind
There's no way, there's no way
There's no way I could leave you behind

 

HAWKING EP (2015)

01. SAFE AND SOUND

Wake up, everything hurts
Pray for something worse
Wait up, you’re moving too fast
These memories are chasing after me

So put your blindfolds on
I promise this won’t take long
Don’t try to cut me down
I’m feeling safe and sound

Wake up, open my eyes
Pray for a different life
Wait up, I’m falling behind
This disease is standing over me

Don’t ask me the way I’ve been
I’ve felt the same since you left me here
You were the best that I could do
I just wasn’t good enough for you

So put your blindfolds on
‘Cause I’m already gone
I hope you feel nothing now
I’m feeling safe and sound

02. COLD HANDS

Young girl waiting
Body aching
Young man broken
Cold hands open

Save your breath
Wrap your fingers around my neck
Pull me closer
Save your breath
Wrap your fingers around my neck
Kill me faster

Feel my heartbeat
Skin and silk sheets
Nails skin deep
Scars will haunt me

Save your breath
Help me feel like there’s something left
Pull me closer
Save your breath
Turn the lights out and don’t hold back
Kill me faster

Two cold hands

03. BOOKS ON TAPE

With memories of throwing rocks
From floorboards of floating docks
Time stops
I’m trying not to cry
As I sit by an open fire
Tongue tied

So take some time
To make it feel alright
These books on tape will ruin my mind
Let’s talk about wasting time
I’ve done it my whole life
These books on tape will ruin my

It ties me up in knots
To imagine you getting lost
In his arms
I’m re-arranging the thoughts in my head
I swore that by now I’d already be dead
But not yet

So take some time
To make it feel alright
These books on tape will ruin my mind
This talk of my
Frustration with wasting time
These books on tape will ruin my

04. DIASTOLE

Pull out all your loose teeth and crawl back to bed
Sweaty palms and fire alarms, there’s no way out
A pretty face is just what it takes to say “I don’t need this”
Painted lips asking for a kiss
I’ve been way too hard on you

But I don’t mind when you tell me how you feel
About my decisions and my skin
But you’ve been absent far too long
So don’t try to be a part of this

I have to remind myself to breathe, as with a sinking feeling in the pit of my chest, I remember that I am an accidental mess of sinew and bone, recapitulating contempt and presenting the possibility that our insecurities and weaknesses should be preserved like a shriveled corpse in formaldehyde. And oh how fortunate it is that your greedy lips have pried the last few ounces of self pity from my dead fingers, so that until my soul’s last sentient moment, I can have the distinct privilege of feeling absolutely nothing

I’m a disappointment
My whole life’s been worthless

05. SYSTOLE

So can we survive the fire tonight
I’ll beg you to let me in
There’s something bleak beneath me
I swear to tell nothing but the truth from now on
Can you believe me?

A list of words you’ve never heard
An alphabet of numbers and uncommon verbs

She says “maybe this is it
I’m hiding in my skin
And I can’t take your word”

This is a war